My name is Tony. I'm the greatest loser you'll ever know. I'm broke. My wallet has dust on it. I'm unemployed. I'm unemployable. So is my whole family. I don't have my own place. I live with my mom. I can't drive. I can't even ride a bike. I did have a bike-tire parked up my ass-crack, though. I'm still a virgin. I haven't had a girlfriend in 15 years. I've been beat up, arrested, robbed, mauled by animals, stalked, starved, dragged around a parking lot by my own mom's car...You name it. This blog is like religion: just believe it. Everything I tell you is as true as I am stupid.
Background Illustrations provided by: http://edison.rutgers.edu/
Reblogged from lulz-time  56,490 notes
Posted 6, May, 2013
lulz-time: This post has been featured on a 1000notes.com blog. I remember back when I was in Ramstein, Germany (‘96), some girl did this to me on the bus to school. First time I found out what a “wet willie” was. I straight up SPAT on that stupid-ass bitch. Just like when some other kid kept pointing at me, and I was like “Your finger: move it or lose it.” He didn’t move it. I bit his fuckin’ finger. YEW GOTTDANG RIGHT, BOY! YEEEEEEEEEEEHAW!!

lulz-time:

This post has been featured on a 1000notes.com blog.

I remember back when I was in Ramstein, Germany (‘96), some girl did this to me on the bus to school. First time I found out what a “wet willie” was. I straight up SPAT on that stupid-ass bitch. Just like when some other kid kept pointing at me, and I was like “Your finger: move it or lose it.” He didn’t move it.

I bit his fuckin’ finger. YEW GOTTDANG RIGHT, BOY! YEEEEEEEEEEEHAW!!

Reblogged from aneurysmsanddesecrations  2,780 notes
Posted 6, May, 2013

thefat-illnana:

-el-:

I hate playing old school music in front of someone older than me. 

What you know about this?

You don’t know nothing about this youngblood.

This is before you was born. 

image

Shut the fuck up.

We have internet you old corny piece of shit.

lmaoooo

On the other hand, I’m like “We don’t like none’a dis “new” shit. We’re pimpin’ Barry White right now.”, and somebody my age is like “………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..who’s Barry White?”, and I’m like “………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..DIE YOU IGNANT MUFUKKA, DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! *reaches for their collar*