I fuckin’ HATE that shit.
You’re in real trouble, and somebody knows it, they’ve heard it, they understand your pain…
…and they’ll pray for you.
"Can I quote you on that?"
Seriously, though. Every time I’ve ever heard anyone say that bullshit ever has always pissed me off.
"We’ll pray for you."
People who say that they’ll pray for somebody in trouble have always equated to me as people who are trying to find a nice way, with a religious excuse, to tell you to go fuck yourself because you’re on your own…
Because that’s what Jesus would do.
No. I’m not very religious, but I do believe that people who pray for others instead of helping them aren’t getting into them “big pearlies” after they die; no siree! In fact, I believe God tells them where they can go to pick up the keys to their hotel room, and on the way, he sends the people these assholes didn’t help when they were alive to come over, smack them across the head with a sock full of hard-ass Dove soap bars, and then they drag those sorry fuckers to the edge of the pit of Hell. God shows up, and the morons start begging and pleading for God’s help, and God tells them what?
"…I’ll pray for you."
And then he lets the victims of an uncaring bunch of hypocritical zealots kick those sorry bastards right down the “big poop shute”!
THAT’S RIGHT! YOU HEARD ME!!
How does that one story go? A guy falls down a hole, and he can’t get out of it. A doctor walks by, and the guy calls for help. The doctor writes a prescription and drops it down the hole, and walks off. A priest walks by, and the guy asks for help, and the priest writes down a prayer, drops it down the hole, and walks off. Finally, the guy’s friend walks by, and the guy begs his friend for help, and the friend jumps down the hole. The guy says his friend is stupid because now they’re both in the same hole. The friend says he jumped down because he’s been in that hole before and he knows the way out…
Snobby advice and cruel lessons don’t help people. Lazy-ass prayers and falsely kind thoughts don’t help people. Helping people helps people. There’s no other way around it. If you don’t want to help people, then be the real asshole that you know you are and say so. Don’t hide behind tough love or false piety, because all you’re doing is condemning another human being in a way that helps you feel like you’re clean. You’re not. All you did was kick a person while they were down. You’re not a good person.
And consider this possibility: maybe God sent you to help the person that day, and by saying you’ll not help that person; you’ll pray for them, you just told God to fuck off and do it himself; you can’t be bothered!
Eeeeeeewww…wouldn’t want to be you later on down the pike!